I hadn’t talked to my “first” in over 14 years and the first thing he said to me was “you broke my heart”. I didn’t know how to respond. What do you say to that? We were 17 and we both did things to each other that were irresponsible and callous. I just moved on quicker than he did and it left him in a state of heartbreak. He said he treated women like crap after that for a long time. I felt bad but I knew he had done stuff to me that hurt my feelings and violated the trust between us forever. Regardless of what he had done, I was the one he loved and gave his heart to. Understandably, he will always love me but hate me at the same time.
After you hear that you broke someone’s heart, you then start reflecting on your heartbreak. The one who crushed your heart into a million pieces. Happened so long ago but the wounds never go away. It’s like the hairs stand up on the back of your neck and your face gets warm like it’s happening all over again. Deception, lies, disrespect, never seem to lose their bite. I’ve had guys hurt my feelings and I’ve cried but that one rip down to the core takes forever to heal. It’s like that person will forever be walking down the street with a piece of your heart in their back pocket. lol.
It happens to the best of us. I wouldn’t change a thing though. Some people say they have never been heartbroken and I wonder if they’ve ever let themselves just fall into someone without being in control. Yes it hurts like hell but strength comes from pain. You just can’t let those scars ruin your life and possibilities of a new love. If my heart wasn’t broken, I probably wouldn’t have met the people I’ve met or accomplished the things I’ve accomplished. My pain made me seek out comfort in unfamiliar places like Baltimore. Being afraid to love after heartbreak only hinders your growth and happiness. You have to let it go. Love is a risk but it’s a risk worth taking. That one major heartbreak happens but that one major lifetime romance is right around the corner if you let it.
So to the one whose heart I broke, I’m deeply sorry and I hope you have been able to heal and find the love you deserve. And to the one who broke my heart, Touche! 🙂