The lifestyle...

Women act like they don’t know. Turn the blind eye. Ignore the signs. Are too scared of the reality. However the reality lies in the pit of your stomach. In the hairs on your body. In the doubt of your mind. It doesn’t go away if it is buried in the gifts or the children. To settle for less is to doubt your worth. Leaving doesn’t mean losing. S.P

Some of us have all come to the crossroads of being with a person just because of love or being with a person because of lifestyle security. The ability to have what you want when you want it is so appealing that it may skew your reality on situations. Every woman wants to be secure and every woman wants her “man” to provide and give her a comfortable home and lifestyle but I don’t think it’s for the sake of fidelity. We see television shows where the women put up with their man philandering but they have the hottest bag and the mortgage is paid. They are unhappy and miserable but still haven’t gotten up the enough nerve to walk out. They claim it’s love or the children but in reality it  is the bank account that keep most women quiet.  

He may not be home most of the time but their closets are filled with trends while their hearts are filled with emptiness. He may have chicks but they are the ones with the “ring”; a ring, but everything it symbolizes holds no value to him or to her. I’ve been there and a lot of my friends have as well. The fly guy who has all the cars, clothes, money, and most likely all the chicks and he’s not going to give that up to just be with you. He is just going to add you to his stable and make you his prize horse. At first you’re blinded by the whirlwind of the lifestyle because it’s all new and refreshing that everything is “taken care of”. Then the reality hits and you see everything that glitters isn’t gold. However you have become too addicted to the allure of that life that it’s hard to walk away and deal with a regular joe who may love you more but can’t provide the perks.

That is when the inner dilemma develops and you have to ask yourself what do you really value. Is fidelity that important or is financial stability more important?

I, myself, chose differently. It wasn’t easy because I loved him but I knew I loved my peace of mind more. I love to know my man adores me and understands how fidelity is important in maintaining a healthy relationship. I don’t want to hear his cell phone ring and he leaves the room or doesn’t answer it because it’s one of his girls. Your mind then wanders and you’re stressed for the rest of the night. I think there are more fulfilling things to do with your partner than that. I don’t condemn any woman who forsakes fidelity for the lifestyle. Our values are just different. But whatever they tell themselves to comfort themselves at night, I’m sure it wouldn’t take the place of the security of knowing that their man is just theirs. That security trumps the financial in my opinion.